


The Captain Is Hooked

by Basmathgirl



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 19:32:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/739304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basmathgirl/pseuds/Basmathgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Jack Harkness overhears an interesting and incriminating conversation. Now why would he think that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Captain Is Hooked

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own anything at all here. I was out bidded.

Jack broke from his short slumber, and became aware of familiar voices drifting towards him. He snuggled into the sofa cushion, glad to be back on board the TARDIS.

“Are you ready? Do you have the right equipment?” he heard Donna ask.

“Of course I do! Why would you think otherwise?” 

Jack smiled against the back of the sofa at the Doctor’s petulant tone.

“I don’t know! I can’t know everything about Martians!” 

How typical of Donna to say that!

“I’m not from Mars…!” 

The Doctor’s tone managed to carry a pout somehow, and Jack sat up slightly to enjoy listening to the show.

“Details details! Now stop blathering and let’s get on with it!” 

Jack smothered a laugh at Donna dealing with a whiney Time Lord; though he started to wonder what ‘it’ was.

“Where were you thinking? We have the choice of a few places,” the Doctor asked Donna, from afar. 

To do what?

“I was thinking my bedroom since we did it in yours last time.” 

That made Jack sit up and pay attention. Did she really say what he thought she did?

“Hmm… Good choice. We could even do it in the library.” 

Jack was puzzled, very puzzled.

“I had considered that but… well… the bedroom seems more logical.” 

This was getting more interesting by the second.

“Agreed! Why are you looking worried?” 

Yeah, why was she worried?

“I might be stupid for asking but do we need any special protection?” 

Jack almost choked at Donna’s words. He spluttered even more when he heard the Doctor’s reply.

“Nah! We’ll be perfectly fine, I’m sure! But I need to bring a few things.”

“I’m sure you know what you are doing. But can I…?” Donna’s voice had softened seductively.

“What? What do you want to do?” the Doctor answered her back playfully.

“Can I hold the thing this time?” 

That was it! Jack had to see what they were doing exactly. He jumped up from his seat and headed out the door.

“Is that wise? You can be a bit of a klutz!” the Doctor’s voice came from way down the corridor somewhere. 

Jack began his search.

“Oi! Flipping cheek! Just ‘cos I injured you that time doesn’t mean I’m… okay, it does, but I still want to have a go!” Donna’s consoling voice seemed closer now.

“Here you are… hold still! It can be powerful!” 

Jack was almost there; if they could just speak one more time…

“Ooh! It’s much bigger than I remember!” 

Aha! Donna’s awestruck voice was on the other side of this door.

Jack barely made it in time to witness the Doctor handing the cordless electric drill for Donna to screw in the new picture hook she’d bought for her newly acquired framed photo of the TARDIS duo. Both of them turned to smirk at him.

“Hello Jack!” the Doctor greeted him. “You got here just in time.”

“Yeah!” Donna sauntered over and patted his cheek. “Can’t have you standing around watching, can we? Go put the kettle on!”

Jack sulkily left them to enjoy their laughing fit as he headed for the kitchen. He deliberately added too much sugar to their tea. Let them laugh that one off!


	2. Once More For Jack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor has needs; but Donna is determined.

Leaving Torchwood behind, the Doctor sent the TARDIS into the Vortex and then turned his moody frail attention onto Donna. 

"Well, that's over with, so you know what that means," he stated in threatening tones.

"No," Donna insisted innocently. "I've no idea."

"Oh yes you do!" He advanced on her, almost pinning her against the pilot seat. "I want it now," he spat out through ground teeth.

"Dream on, Sunshine, 'cos you ain't going to get it yet," she smirked.

"No, I don't think you understand, Donna. I want it and I'm going to have it," he said menacingly.

"I think it's you who don't understand!" she huffed. "You're not having it yet, and you know exactly why you're not!"

He moved further into her personal space to intimidate her. "You do realise I could just claim it now and you can do nothing about it?"

"Oh yes, I know that," she brazened out the situation. "But you won't if you want me to cooperate in the future."

His eyes told her that he recognised the truth in that statement, but he opened his mouth to protest nonetheless. "Give it to me! I want it now!"

"Not going to happen," she mocked him; and spotting her possible escape route, she sped away from him down the corridor. She shrieked as he gave chase.

"Donna! Come back here!" he demanded as he caught up with her, forcing her against the bedroom door. His eyes were dark with anticipation and need. "Why can't you let me have it?"

"You know the deal; I do something for you and you do something for me. It's quite simple," she sneered at him.

"Are you changing the rules again?" he whined. "That's not fair!"

"No more than you do on a regular basis. Did you really think I wouldn't notice?" She smiled at him smugly. "You could have it right here, right now, if you say the magic words."

"You promise, if I say the right words?" he asked hopefully, as his expression lightened.

She slipped her fingers in to a pocket to touch the long slim shaft of goodness. "Oh yes! I'll promise if you promise," she tantalised him.

He visibly gulped as he realised that the delights he wanted were within easy reach. "Okay, I promise. I'll give you what your heart desires. I'll set the coordinates immediately afterwards."

"Deal!" Donna crowed, and carried out her promise.

 

Ten minutes later the Doctor was happily chomping his way through his confiscated tube of Fruit Pastilles and Donna was on her way to watch Much Ado About Nothing. Result!

 

Jack didn't think so as he sat back at his desk in Torchwood, scowling. He switched the surveillance device he'd planted on the Doctor off in disgust! He'd catch the pair of them out one day he vowed, as he was still sure something could be going on between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find out more about [Fruit Pastilles here](http://www.ukgoods.com/rowntree-fruit-pastilles-52g-1-8oz.html)…. If you want to.


	3. Advantage TARDIS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re playing with Jack again, and with each other.

Jack switched on the listening device as he sipped his second cup of coffee that day. The noises from inside the TARDIS sounded distinctly muffled for a few seconds before it seemed as though someone had moved the device to a better position. Well, Jack would have thought that if he didn’t know any better. That device was almost undetectable!

 

“Have you ever played TARDIS tennis before, Donna?” the Doctor asked as ‘he’ ran across the virtual court.

“Oh no, Doctor, I’m completely new to playing this way,” she replied. “I must admit I’m liking it so far.”

“Do you think we could… maybe… change sides for a moment, try it out that way?” he asked.

“Go on then, it can’t make that much difference to me at the moment,” she confessed. “I’m not properly warmed up yet.”

There was the sound of a smash, followed by a round of applause. “Did they seriously just applaud you for doing that?” Donna asked incredulously.

“Oh yes! Some things are universal appreciated,” the Doctor informed her, and then puffed slightly.

“Feeling a bit out of breath are you?” she teased him.

“Well… this is quite a lot of physical exertion,” he tried to excuse himself.

“And I thought you were fit,” she snorted.

“Just because you’re not moving about much,” he huffed at her.

“Don’t get sarky with me,” she warned. “I’m doing my best here considering the circumstances.”

“Sorry! I forgot for a moment how new you are to this. Do you want me to help you out in any way?” he offered.

 

Jack’s ears pricked up, and he leaned closer to the transmitter.

 

“No, you’re alright, I’ll stay right where I am thanks,” Donna replied to the Doctor’s generous offer.

“Just let me know if you need me to make things easier for you,” he responded, and then there was a squeaking noise of converses against flooring followed by a grunt of effort. “That was close.”

“Are you alright? Do you need us to stop?” Donna readily asked. “We could always finish this another day? Or move over there?”

“No, it’s fine. We need to finish properly,” he sighed. There was another sound of a ball hitting a racquet loudly followed by more applause.

“You did it again,” she said in awed tones. “How do you do that? You wear me out just by looking at you.”

“Either you’ve got it or you haven’t,” he smugly replied.

“Ow! You stabbed me then,” she shot out angrily at him.

“Donna! How did I do that?” he whined.

“I don’t know! I’m not the one in charge of your body, Sunshine,” she snapped at him. “Stop flying things about.”

 

‘Things?’ Jack wondered.

 

“If you can’t keep your body away from mine…,” the Doctor began to threaten but Donna’s voice quickly halted him.

“Shall I remind your face how a slap feels?” she asked in icy tones.

“No. No, that’s fine,” he could be heard to backpedal.

 

Jack was getting fed up with this now. He’d listened in on and off for three weeks now, and hadn’t heard anything genuinely riské in all that time.

 

“Go on then, finish this off,” Donna ordered the Doctor. “You’ll need to use the thingamajig.”

“I know! I have done this before,” he snarked.

“Alright! Calm down. I was only saying,” Donna tried to appease him.

The Doctor gave a small sniff. “That’s alright then. Once more then?” His tone was hopeful.

“Once more,” Donna agreed happily. 

There was the sound of applause again.

 

‘I’m not listening to their stupid game of tennis anymore,’ Jack told himself as he turned the device off yet again. He toyed with an elastic band he’d found on the desk, wondering who was the bigger idiot at that moment, him for thinking they were up to something, or them for not actually doing it. It was a close run thing, he decided.

 

“How was that game, Donna?” the Doctor asked her as he wiped the sweat off his brow and then hers.

She smiled broadly at him. “Playing along to that virtual tennis game was inspired. I’d have never thought of that.”

“I’m glad you approve.” He beamed back at her. He caressed her cheek tenderly. “Is there anything else you want me to do?”

“Apart from take those converses off when we make love? Yes. Can you untie me from this bed now, please? I don’t know where that draft’s coming from but I certainly know where it’s going,” she giggled.

“Okay!” He grinned at her, tackling the cords that bound her to the bedpost and rubbing her wrists for her before bringing his lips down to hers. “How about a shower together now we’re done?”

“Ooh, yes please.” She kissed him. “And turn that bloody XBOX off.”

“Yes dear,” he mocked her. 

He helped her carefully off the bed, and wrapped a comforting arm around her naked body before leading her into the bathroom for some more fun.


End file.
